


I Long for Her

by Mistressmeo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Epilogue, F/M, Post-Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:34:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26314246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistressmeo/pseuds/Mistressmeo
Summary: Drabble for DFFR 2.0 - Drabble Days, Back to Hogwarts prompt
Relationships: Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	I Long for Her

**Author's Note:**

> Just Playing with JKR's characters, I own nothing.

I long for her. There is no other way to put it. I could stand here forever and just…absorb her beauty straight into my scorched soul. But I can’t. It hurts too much to keep watching but, I’m weak. So weak. She’s right there. Standing with her red-haired husband while seeing their offspring board the train for their year at Hogwarts. And me, here, with my…wife doing the same. My beautiful wife – it’s true, she is beautiful but, in comparison to her…never beautiful enough. And my son, Merlin forgive me, my own flesh and blood – how I wish with every fiber of my being that she was his mother instead of the pureblood woman at my side.

I lied for her. Protected her and her friends that day so long ago when my vile aunt tortured her. It torments me still - it’s what makes most of my nights sleepless. Watching her writhe and hurt like that – how could I have just stood there? Fool. Coward. I should have saved her. Stepped in sooner. My heart breaks a little more each time I close my eyes and see her tear-stained face and marked body. Oh, how I should have saved her! She would have wanted me then. She would have seen the good in me. But that is what my life is full of now, would-haves. I would have gladly spent the rest of my lifetime with her atoning for the past sins that were mine and my family’s, all for the chance to be with her. I would have touched her tenderly to show her how much I loved…love her…I would have shown her how much I ached for her to be mine and to convince her how wrong I was all those years ago.

So much time wasted. I picked a wife that’s her polar opposite in every way to avoid the pain of seeing any resemblance. For seeing any slight similarity would have sent me spiraling to find another and another. Fooling myself that if I looked long enough, by magic, she would become her. No, my wife is nothing like her. She doesn’t challenge, she doesn’t disagree, and she doesn’t put me in my place. There are no heated battles, no sparks, and there is no fire in her…not ever. Agreeable, my mother had said. 

I nod at the boy who became the man that lived in acknowledgement. Sometimes I think he knows I long for her and always have. He probably figured it out before I did. This is what I acknowledge with my nod. He nods in kind, also knowing that I will never act on what I want. Never even whisper the words aloud. Not out of fear of recourse but because it might cause her pain and distress. So I stand here and hold it all in and hide it away. This is my penance and I live it every day.

A crisp voice brings me back from myself.

“Your parents expect us for luncheon at noon, Draco.”

“Yes, my love.” The reply is automatically and said without feeling.

Dragging my eyes away from the woman I long for standing at the opposite end of the platform, I turn and escort my wife home.


End file.
